What I Learned About Myself When a KonMari Consultant Helped Me Organize My Kitchen

I spend a lot of time in my kitchen — prepping, cooking, washing up, and having good conversations. My partner and I often discussed how we'd like our kitchen to be set up, but never considered devoting an entire day or weekend to make the necessary changes. Honestly, that felt like too much work to tackle with our limited free time.

That said, I'm not a person who typically takes courses or uses services to help make my life easier. I grew up in a household where doing things yourself was valued and encouraged.

Now as an adult, I find I like (the challenge of) figuring things out and finding solutions. Although, I'll be the first to admit, it's not always a productive way or the fastest method to getting tasks accomplished. In fact, sometimes certain areas of my home simply take a backseat as I get hit with overwhelm. I realize that I sometimes get inspired and want to jump right in, but often don't have the bandwidth to see bigger projects to the end.

So when the opportunity arose to bring Marie Kondo's techniques for "sparking joy" into my kitchen with Jenna Carlsson, Certified KonMari Consultant and founder of The Joy Filter, I was intrigued. Of course, when it came time to commit to the process, I was hesitant.

I liked the idea and the (likely) results, but I wasn't unsure about dedicating so much time to the process. Thankfully, my partner was all in.

We got started quickly. Carlsson pulled out a pad of paper and pen, and nonchalantly asked me questions about what my dream kitchen would look like — and equally important, feel like. What I initially envisioned required plenty of renovations, but that wasn't (and isn't) on the horizon, so I responded based on what I could implement based on my real-life, right-now kitchen. As I spoke, she jotted everything down with the occasional question asking me to elaborate or be more specific, such as how'd I feel if I put all grains and dried fruit in glass jars. There was no judgement, just acknowledgment and acceptance with the occasional nod of the head. When she had finished, she went to chat with my partner about his vision.

I didn't hear their conversation, but I was pleasantly surprised when we came together, and she shared that our vision was quite similar but expressed differently.

She had already done an inventory of our kitchen, opening up all the cupboards and the pantry to make categories and subcategories of everything in preparation of when it came time to really dive in. Some of these categories included: Food pantry and cupboards, Spices, pots/pans /gadgets, Utensils, Baking ingredients/supplies, etc.

Are you ready to get started?

"Yes,"we said.

"Okay, let's first start with the food category," Carlsson said. "First thing you need to do is remove all the food from the cupboards and pantry and place it in a central place, such as the kitchen table, so everything is visible."

And we did. After we had gone through every item of food and knew what we'd keep and what we'd let go off, then we decided where everything went (some items got new homes). Once the food was organized, then we started on the next category. Each time it became a little easier as we formed a rhythm of knowing what is a yes, no, and a maybe.

Here's what I learned about myself along the way.

Values on Display

As we were going through the pile of canned goods and jars, various sauces, boxed items, and more, it became abundantly clear that food is a central point in our lives. Even when we had an expired package (over a year) on our hands, it was hard to discard it due to feelings of guilt and waste.

I grew up with a father who experienced hunger as a teenager — nothing went to waste in our home. For example, when I was growing up, my dad refused to throw out any condiments that had expired, claiming they were still edible. (Some were questionable, but I'm still here to talk about it.) Although I adhere to expiration dates, depending on the product, it became obvious just how ingrained this value is for me, as well as for my partner.

Letting Go

I never considered myself a person who gets attached to material things, but the process highlighted just the opposite; I don't like giving things up, especially if I don't feel ready. When I felt stuck about an item that appeared useful but I hadn't used in months (or maybe ever), I was reluctant to give it up because of the classic concern: What if I need it someday? However, Carlsson's guidance and questions — such as, "When have you used this?" or "Would you want to use it this week?" — helped me put everything into perspective, making it far easier to commit to keeping an item or letting it go. And then, something surprising happened. Once we started letting go and naming why objects no longer served us, it became much easier to let go of more things — like a domino effect.

Confronting Our Differences

My partner and I are very different in how we express ourselves and at one point, I wondered if we'd be capable of finishing the process without a major meltdown. We knew we were getting into a serious organization project, but we didn't realize we'd have to navigate the differences in our relationship to carry the project out. Having a mediator, who knew how to refocus the conversation and knew what questions to ask to keep us on track, made all the difference. I didn't anticipate the amount of communicating and listening this process entailed, all the while keeping our egos at bay. For example, I learned that some items that I wouldn't have thought twice about getting rid of, actually held very real sentimental value for my partner. Up until this experience, I had no idea.

Asking for Help Is Everything

I would have never considered dedicating the amount of time it took to go through everything in our kitchen — an entire weekend — on our own. I'm accustomed to short-term projects that entail a few hours or half a day. Dedicating two full days to sort through everything in our kitchen was a monumental task and an emotional undertaking. The experience goes far beyond just eliminating items that no longer spark joy, as it requires that participants also confront blocks and fears that come up. Having a mediator guide us through the process was essential. This became especially clear whenever I wanted to throw in the towel, or when we started arguing over unimportant details or allowing our differences to get in the way of progress.

The Importance of Trust

There's no way around it: I felt vulnerable. I felt exposed with everything on display, from the food we buy, the pots and pans we use, and the way the cupboards were organized. I felt like I couldn't hide. Bringing someone into my space was a lesson in trust and a lesson in surrendering to the process. I had no idea that the experience would bring up an array of emotions or how it would be so challenging letting go of unused items. Roadblocks and old habits came to light, and it wasn't always fun to confront. Trusting is what kept us moving forward.

Clarity

Unsurprisingly, getting rid of things created space. But it also offered a chance to reconsider each item's placement based on how frequently we use certain items, their utility, and aesthetic value. Simply rearranging the distribution and layout of items made a huge difference, and I was surprised with how it opened up even more space. With kitchen counter clutter significantly reduced, I instantly noticed a sense of calm and clarity upon walking into the kitchen.

And all of those items that I was so reluctant to give away? I don't even remember what they were.